404 and beyond

news

2009-10-30T12:12:00.005-05:00

newer pictures of the boys can be viewed by clicking HERE and HERE

thanks! sorry i don't post a lot.

conley has his tube out, and has been eating so much better. he has gained what appears to be 1-1.5 lbs. over the last six weeks or so. we are thankful to God and to you for all your prayers.

peace

...

2009-10-03T21:35:00.004-05:00

the boys, the beautiful one, Katahdin, etc.

4 years

2009-08-07T13:11:00.004-05:00

it goes by so fast. happy birthday to Malachi.

"Children too are a gift from the LORD, the fruit of the womb, a reward. " Ps. 127:3

something new?

2009-06-22T08:25:00.004-05:00

here are the boys, circa june '09 (i took the photos this very morning). we are doing very well. as usual, my apologies for the (very) long delay in posting an update.

we have been using conley's feeding tube faithfully over the past six months and, to be quite honest, we haven't seen the progress we had hoped for and had been told we would see. i guess that is just how it goes sometimes. however, in our frustration and because of my failure to pack conley's tube apparatus on a short trip recently, we discovered that when we do not tube-feed him after each meal and during the nighttime, he actually eats decent amounts of food on a relatively normal schedule.

we are cautiously optimistic about this development and appreciate everyone's prayers. we do not know if he has just changed his mind about the matter or if maybe the tube-feeding has increased his appetite. either way, we are ready to be done with the tube and would love for this to be a new chapter for conley and our entire family. we shall see. no matter what happens, many thanks to God for the two beautiful, joyful, bright boys who make us laugh and who challenge us every single day.
-love-

disney

2009-02-06T10:21:00.003-05:00

my parents took us to disney world last week. it was great. malachi was at least as ecstatic as we could have expected... maybe more.

pictures will soon follow, i hope.

the trip can be summed up in malachi's comment from the carseat on our second-to-last day.

"Conley, I'm not your brother. I'm Maleficent."

the sound of animals videoing

2009-01-04T20:18:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T00:51:00.003-05:00

this season has been pretty wonderful. it gets better every year as our boys grow and are able to enjoy more things, learn about the true meaning of our celebrating, and become less afraid of snow.

a quick update on the elder brother, since he doesn't always get a lot of press here: malachi is doing really well as a big brother. he is also enjoying preschool. he's pretty much a rockstar there, doing whatever is necessary to stay in the limelight. not sure where he gets that from.

conley had some checkups today. he's gained a bit of weight already. we're thankful. his surgery is healing up well.

we really hope that everyone has a great holiday season. for those of you who celebrate the coming of Christ, may this time be filled with joy and gratitude. may we all take on the heart of the incarnation toward those around us; the heart of a God Who is willing to participate in this

world in order to save us from ourselves. thanks for everything.

-love-

photos

2008-12-19T13:46:00.002-05:00

the feedings are going well. thank you so much for your prayers. please pray that these calories stick to the little man's body!

here's the beginning of what i hope will be a flood of new pics. keeping such things organized and up to date is so tedious. sorry that there are none of beth up on this album. pics of her are on the hard drive at home. more to come

http://picasaweb.google.com/cordof3/Monroes#

powered up

2008-12-15T11:58:00.003-05:00

conley's pretty much back to himself now. he seems to still be regaining strength but his smile is in full-swing. we've got power now, which he will be happy about. he'll be happy because every time he heard the generator in the garage, he thought it was grampa's four-wheeler starting back up again. "FOUR!!??" he exclaims, hoping for a ride. he should be up to that task pretty soon. we hope to get our little feeding apparatus today so that we can start the process tonight while conley sleeps. it will be good to be back home again but it has been fun at grammie and grampa's place. they have been very generous to let us (malachi) come and take over the place. too bad malachi doesn't have any fun while he's over there..... :P
-love-

home

2008-12-13T12:10:00.003-05:00

looks like we'll be headed home in a little bit. we're waiting to learn about how to use the tube and all, but that might not come to fruition until tomorrow. either way, conley's doing well and on his way back to being himself. he was happy to have a bottle and some croissant this morning. he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. no power yet at home, so we'll post when we can. thanks again!

-love-

tubing

2008-12-12T20:18:00.004-05:00

hi everyone. so, we're back. we figure that many of you know about conley's struggle to gain weight and the subsequent treatment we've opted for. today conley went in for day surgery to "install" a gastrostomy tube (or, as the hip kids call it, a "g" tube). this tube will allow us to feed conley during the night. he isn't so fond of eating these days, maybe because he spent so much time early on in life with 1) tubes down his throat, 2) constant throwing up (which stopped a while ago) and 3) acid reflux problems (severe heartburn). either way, we think we've outsmarted him now. the good stuff (Pediasure fortified drink) will go right into that little belly of his. we're praying that this helps him bulk up. developmentally he's doing great. he's just got to grow. your prayers are so very much appreciated. we'll keep you posted. the picture above is conley cruising around the pre-op, flirting with the nurses. below are pictures of him after the surgery. as usual, super cute (both he and mom ;)

-love-

life goes on

2008-10-13T21:51:00.001-05:00

so many things have happened, so many months have passed. Conley nears 18 months and Malachi has been three for some time now. we had a great summer and enjoyed time with family, enjoyed the lake, etc. I've started college again and Malachi began preschool. He's doing well.

As for Conley's health, he is developing extremely well, on the verge of walking, and sporting a very unique disposition (stubborn). We're okay with that. He didn't get to where he is through passivity. He is still growing slowly so we're probably going to let them put a little feeding tube in his tummy. It should be a temporary gig and will help him bulk up, improve his immune system, and provide him with some great party tricks.

As winter approaches we look forward to lighting the wood stove and playing in the snow. Bethany (who had her big b-day just recently) is going to make some time to hone her sewing skills (which she has been meaning to do). I'm hoping to record some songs and maybe catch (and eat) some trout with my new fly rod (birthday present from my parents). We appreciate everyone's continued prayers. Please let us know how we can return the favor.
-love-

one year later

2008-04-30T08:52:00.007-05:00

it's pretty hard to believe that on this day one year ago bethany was being wheeled into the operating room because our tiny little baby was in danger of losing oxygen. after 11 days of 40 minute drives to portland, daily ultrasounds, nail-biting, and laying horizontal in order to retain as much amniotic fluid as possible, the time had come. with much prayer and yet much fear we held hands as the surgeons operated on bethany's numb body. the curtain that draped over her kept us both from seeing the traumatic process but i could peek enough to see the doctors and their hands from time to time. and then he emerged. announcing to everyone in that room and to anyone else in the world who cared to know, conley roger lee made it very clear that he was here to fight. even the surgeon was surprised: surprised that he was 695 grams (1lbs. 8oz.), surprised that he took a breath, surprised that this little person could muster up a cry. his voice was but a little louder than a kitten's but his divinely-appointed determination was soon to be realized. the LORD would be his strength and his song, God would become his salvation in a very real sense. as i mentioned in posts so many months ago, no one can explain why this child was chosen to surpass expectations and overcome odds while others would fare differently. the only response i have is this: God, grant us the gratitude that is in accordance with this incredible blessing and the grace to faithfully tend to him. thank you for all your prayers. i could give you all the details of where conley is today, but i'd rather just have you watch this.
-love-

melting?

2008-03-23T23:44:00.005-05:00

we are doing well overall and have little to complain about in the grand scheme. however, i am also a human which means that i don't need much reason to generate complaints. and so, although the snow is melting, our ties to the medical industry have not waned a bit. conley continues to bounce from specialist to specialist regarding everything from his weight to his breathing to his leg. and while i whine my little (big) head off, he just smiles his little (actually little) head off and makes friends wherever he goes. that does well to convict me regarding my complaining as well as to remind us that if things were really bad as these professionals claim, he wouldn't be such a contagiously joyous little man. thanks for your continued prayers. we hope you're all well. stay in touch to let us know whether you are.
-love-

good morning

2008-02-01T08:50:00.000-05:00

just an update

2008-01-27T23:52:00.000-05:00

we're pretty much all doing well. conley has had his share of colds (and constipation, in case you cared to know). we had a great time visiting jason and hannah in kentucky. malachi has not grown out of his new-found aversion to snow.
etc.
thanks for your continued prayers as conley goes through physical and occupational therapy. i wonder why they call it occupational. i mean, his occupation right now is to eat, sleep, be cute, poop-oh, well, i guess in that sense, he does need some coaching.
-love-

p.s. new images on our flickr

Election '08

2008-01-27T23:03:00.000-05:00

finally...some clear analysis on the nature of political campaign strategy:

-Mikaela, age 8

couldn't have said it better myself.

muzak

2007-12-28T14:01:00.001-05:00

click here to listen to a rough first track from a band i'm in

new fotos

2007-12-15T11:50:00.000-05:00

on our flickr.
enjoy
-love-

red and green

2007-12-11T10:34:00.000-05:00

malachi is really enjoying the whole holiday gig this year (which makes it even more enjoyable for us). when we read him a book about Christmas (which he pronounces "Chri-mas"), he finds a spot to "blow out the candles" since we told him that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. he's pretty sharp. conley has been super sick (bronchitis and ear infection) but he's doing better. he's really a little fighter still. the doctor was astounded by his quick recovery. the kid is a machine.
thanks for caring enough about us to read this. have a great holiday season. -love-

going strong

2007-11-23T18:34:00.001-05:00

so things are going pretty well. despite a 14-day skirmish with a head cold, we're coming out on top. Conley has had another issue checked off his "list." his eyes have checked out as a-okay with the specialist. we're now just waiting for them to start giving him physical therapy on his foot (it's still turned out a little). otherwise, he is doing great. he's barely throwing up any more, which is a huge step for him. we had a great thanksgiving up at Nanie's and looking forward to a great Christmas. we also just uploaded a new batch of pictures to our flickr account. click here to see them. have a great holiday season.
-love-

+

the best in baseball

2007-10-28T23:08:00.001-05:00

...

2007-10-27T08:39:00.000-05:00

see more of our photos by clicking here.

-love-

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,the fruit of the womb a reward. - Psalm 127:3

like a polaroid picture

2007-10-19T10:03:00.000-05:00

what's better than two boys? two really cute boys. if you'd like to see more photos, there's a bunch on our flickr, which you can click on in the sidebar on the right of this page. Malachi is really doing well with Conley, turning into a soft big brother. Conley is growing well and getting pretty interactive. looking forward to holidays so we can dress them up in some pretty ridiculous outfits. I think Conley will be featuring a pointy-hooded red velour santa getup passed down from his brother; Malachi will probably just end up wearing some fake antlers or maybe an entire deer skin and a red clown nose. who knows what bethany has up her sleeve. anyway, enjoy the photos. maybe we'll get some video clips again soon and put those up. be blessed.
-love-

in other news

2007-10-07T11:35:00.001-05:00

just when you thought he couldn't get cuter, right? conley is doing well. he had a developmental evaluation recently. the so-so news: he needs some physical therapy for his leg and some other therapy for a few motor-skills. the really good news: they said he looks great and some of his attentiveness skills are way ahead, that of a 12 month old (hereditary paternal ADHD already setting in)! so thanks for your continued prayers. malachi is developing at warp speed also. sometimes i wonder if he's turning 3 or 5 on his next birthday. to say we are blessed parents is an understatement. glad to update all of you caring, curious [ :) ] souls. -love-

...and growing

2007-09-18T14:28:00.000-05:00

so we had a visit from the child development woman the other day. according to her, conley is already starting to catch up to his correct developmental status. he has some skills of a 2 month old, some of a 3 month old, and some of a 4 month old (his actual age). that was encouraging. we're hoping that things continue in that direction. the fall is coming on strong and beautiful. with only a few days left in fishing season, malachi and i paid a visit to the brook. after one big shiner, malachi was ready to "go back to malachi's house." good times.

life in general

2007-09-11T17:08:00.000-05:00

just a quick update: conley is doing well. we've had a visiting nurse come out a couple of times. he's grown over 2 lbs. in the month he's been home. so that's great. malachi is still doing well having him around. just waiting to have the Child Development Services check in on him to see how he is progressing. sometimes i hold him, look at him, and it's a little weird, thinking of how very easily he could not be with us now. sometimes it's like he's a different person than that petite creature that lived in that other world, other time. so thankful.
-love-
p.s. some may remember our post about joey, conley's NICU neighbor. he was born in almost three months early back in june. he experienced a lot of complications and has needed a lot of prayer. now he's 6+ lbs and moving forward. still a way away from coming home, he needs to work on bottle feeding and his oxygen requirements. please pray for him and his family. here's a couple pics

update

2007-08-28T10:43:00.001-05:00

it's going on 2 weeks tomorrow that conley has made his way home. it was a little surreal at first, holding this child in our own home, the child who sometimes seemed like just a character in a long dream of ours. now he is real life. at first he just hung out and slept, now he's starting to act like a real baby and be fussy from time to time. i start to get frustrated with his crying and then remind myself that the alternative of not having him there at all was so close to being a reality. of course, that doesn't take away all my frustration, but it sure puts things into perspective. malachi loves conley and very rarely gets jealous with him or rough. that is a huge blessing. in the midst of our joy, it's still the same adjustment any family has to make going from having one child (a toddler who can communicate quite effectively, sleeps pretty much all night, and doesn't throw up for unknown reasons) to adding a new baby to the mix. he actually sleeps most of the way through the night, however, which is really great. we appreciate your continued prayers for this adjustment and that as conley is monitored by specialists over the next year or so, that he develops as expected and suffers no long term complications. as of this moment, he's a very cute, cuddly little boy who can't get enough of his mom (i wonder why). thanks so much. one day at a time
-love-

homecoming

2007-08-15T16:20:00.000-05:00

and so yesterday was the final time that we had to drive to and from the hospital in order to interact with our son. it was a beautiful thing. to see his monitor on standby, with no wires attached to his chunky little torso. he just laid there with his arms wide open so as to say, "here i am, take me home." and so we did, with fear and trepidation. a child who by some stretches shouldn't even be alive today, whose fate we anticipated from day to day, hour to hour. 107 days in one building, he had a half confused, half scared look on his beautiful face as he approached the sunlight and entered the backseat.
now we're home and he's such a good natured little boy. he also is blessed with the most loving, gentle, and interested big brother. malachi loves him to pieces. now we learn to adjust with and two bodies, minds, and souls for which to care. conley is an incredibly loud sleeper with continual grunting and noisiness. we'd appreciate any more prayers you could muster up for him to get over the acid reflux he's struggled with and for us to get some good solid rest. we are incredibly thankful to God and indebted both to Him and you as you have ceaselessly prayed for us and our little man. thanks for being part of this miracle. we'll continue to update since this is not an end, but surely, a beginning. we'll continue one day at a time.
-immeasurable love-

bottom of the ninth

2007-08-10T21:00:00.000-05:00

conley has this one wrapped up. bottom of the ninth, conley is on the mound with a 5-0 lead, 2 outs, 0 and 2 to the #10 batter. time for strike three. he passed his car seat test today, had his circumcision, and is eating like a horse. tuesday morning can't come too soon. thank you to all who have been standing. to the finish.
-love-

a baby

2007-08-07T21:59:00.000-05:00

just take a look.
1 week (give or take) if things go as planned. please pray. thank you so much. we can't say it enough. one day at a time.
-love-

nearly untethered

2007-08-07T11:54:00.000-05:00

today will be the first day that we will see our son free from anything in his body. no breathing line lodged in his trachea, no iv protruding from his skin, and no feeding tube stuck up his nose. just a few monitors stuck to his epidermis. thanks be to God. i think we're getting close. one day at a time.
-love-

trucking along

2007-08-05T20:18:00.001-05:00

conley continues to make progress as he looks forward to the goal of coming home. he has a checklist written on a whiteboard above his bed and he's already got a few things checked off. he's still off oxygen which is really something to be thankful for and now he's just focusing on the feeding thing. the progress he is making is phenomenal for a kid in his circumstances. he just needs to have the strength and stamina to be feeding completely from the bottle. then that last tube will be removed. we look forward to the day. at home, bethany is re-nesting as we prepare for the homecoming. one day at a time.
-love-

falling asleep at the bottle

2007-08-01T23:59:00.000-05:00

conley is now off the oxygen tube. that leaves only one tube left for him to remove... the feeding tube. he's been doing well being off oxygen, however, if he ends up needing a little help again, it's right near him. he's been taking many of his feedings via the bottle although he doesn't always enjoy it, and that's our final hurdle. it was good to have his warm head against my shoulder, to look right into his eyes, to feel his short little breaths on my skin. it's good to have my son alive.
one day at a time

best day...ever

2007-07-31T14:08:00.000-05:00

so today was quite a fulfilling day. i was able to be there for conley's 8:oo feeding and he was compliant, quite amazing. he took all of 43cc and, in fact, was still sucking when i pulled the bottle out. he's had much more success since they've been giving him formula mixed with rice cereal to thicken it up. we just hung out and he fell asleep on my shoulder. very special times. part of me wishes i had a picture of it to share with you, part of me is quite okay with just having the image to myself. please pray he continues to take full feedings via the bottle more frequently and continues to wane in his need for oxygen. he was down to only 30% oxygen on the lowest setting of pressure when i left him today. great progress. one day at a time
-love-

slacking

2007-07-29T19:46:00.000-05:00

sorry for the egregious delay in posting. here's the news... conley is over five and a half pounds now. he's so beautiful and looking so healthy. working on his "homeward" plan now. he really needs to get in line with this feeding thing. he's made some progress and is learning to like it, but he needs to get his biological clock in a rhythm of waking and eating on a regular schedule as well as wanting to keep the bottle in his mouth. the nurse very helpfully explained tonight that probably because he had a tube stuck down his throat for a while (for breathing and eating) that to have something put in his mouth brings about negative associations for him. so, it will take time. his oxygen help is still very little he just needs to be over and done with it. thanks for your faithfulness in praying. stay in touch.
-love-
pics of conley with mommy and pepe'

inheritance

2007-07-24T16:03:00.001-05:00

good news is that conley is chomping for the bottle when it's feeding time. also, he's progressing in his coordination between eating and breathing. unfortunately, once he starts chomping, he gets upset and spits up. they think he might have acid reflux and are giving him medicine (basically Zantac). i told them that condition runs in the family. please pray that he works through that as well as his oxygen requirements. one day at a time
also, please keep the family of my dad's cousin in prayer. her premature son, Jasper, had a rough start and was in the Brooklyn NICU for some time. after some progress in his health, he suffered a stroke and passed away on sunday. words cannot express our sorrow and pain for them. please pray peace, comfort, and strength for their family. thank you so much
-love-

light at the end

2007-07-23T10:22:00.000-05:00

conley is doing well. he's 5lbs. 3oz. and growing. still working on the oxygen thing. i'm praying and hoping he just wakes up one day and is done with it. the nurses have said that's how it happens sometimes. kids will just ride the fence for a long period of time and then, suddenly, be like "all right, i'll breathe on my own now, thanks." hoping that day comes soon. he's also been progressing on the bottle-feeding gig. similarly, a process, but he's got the hang of it as far as how. it's just getting him motivated and awake enough to take it. so...
one day at a time
-love-

moved

2007-07-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

hey guys. conley was moved to continuing care nursery today. he no longer needs intensive care. so, yeah, that's really great. i'll fill you all in with more when i have a little more time. just working on feeding with the bottle. he took 38 of 45cc from a bottle so he's headed in the right direction. thank you so much. now to just get him home.
-love-

do i hear 5?

2007-07-17T15:18:00.000-05:00

conley is 4lbs. 12oz. and this morning, he took 33 of his 43cc of milk from a bottle. what a champ. the nurse said he probably would have taken all of the 43cc but she had started the first 10cc of the feed when the specialists showed up. good stuff. they've asked us to bring in a mobile for his crib because he's alert and awake quite often now. also, he's been steady on 25cc, the lowest setting of pressure for his oxygen. the final step is to wean his oxygen % down, which they're working on. across the aisle, joey has been doing pretty decent himself. please keep praying. one day at a time.
-love-

almost normal life?

2007-07-16T09:46:00.001-05:00

at this point in the game, looking at pictures like that bring as much longing and pain as joy. we're beyond ready to have him home. he's closing in on the prize. the feeding team came in today to give him a shot at the bottle again, but he wasn't in that sort of mood, which is pretty common. he's doing well on his oxygen, at the lowest setting of pressure. so we're praying that he continues to progress in that direction and can wean down on the oxygen % and be done with that whole business. he's really digging the crib scene, too. he's done better overall since moving out of the bio-dome. MTV is actually planning on coming and doing an episode of "Cribs" with him and his new place, so that should be cool. one day at a time.
-love-
here's the little man with his auntie hannah. his good friend katrina also visited him this week.

out of the incubator and into the...

2007-07-13T14:08:00.000-05:00

we got some really encouraging news today from the NICU. they've moved conley into a crib, meaning he is holding his temp and not needing the heat support from an incubator. we're looking forward to seeing him in that tonight. also, the feeding specialists came in yesterday or this morning and fed him almost half of a feeding through a bottle. such good news to hear that he's acclimating to that. they'll be trying that again on sunday when the specialists are in again. please pray that continues to go well. no pics lately, sorry. we'll take some tonight. on a side note, please pray for friends of ours who have a relative out in wyoming/colorado. she was working on natural gas lines all alone when an explosion occured. over 80% of her body was burned and she had to get back in her truck, drive to where she had cell phone signal and call for help. this was in wyoming and they had to airlift her to a colorado burn unit, the only place nearby with any hope of helping her. her name is shannon and she was initially given a 10% chance to live. every day for her brings new surgeries to endure, infections to fight, and so on. she continues to be in a medically induced coma. please pray for shannon, her husband and child(ren). one day at a time.
-love-

clues

2007-07-10T20:02:00.001-05:00

hey guys, real quick. they're trying to figure out the deal with conley. they're thinking it's less of him retaining fluid and more of his lungs just needed to heal up. please just pray that the doctors have wisdom and that God restores his lung tissue. thanks so much. please don't forget to pray for jasper and joey, colleagues in prematurity. one day at a time.
-love-

tripled up

2007-07-09T11:22:00.000-05:00

in poker, when you push all in, get called by another person and win, that's called "doubling up." you have twice as many chips at then end of that hand as at the beginning (for those of you who play cards or get sucked into watching it on t.v. when you're clicking through ESPN on the weekends, you understand this). when you push and get two callers and win, that's called "tripling up." even better.
when this all started, conley was all in with 1lb. 8oz. and less than premium pocket cards. in the past 10 weeks (yep, 10 weeks as of today), he's tripled up. last night he weighed in at 4lbs. 8oz. he's actually probably a little less than that since he's been retaining some fluids, but i'd say he's in a winning position as of yet. with regards to that, please pray that when they give him medicine today to help him clear out some fluids, that it does the trick and his lungs can wean down on oxygen. he's not getting a whole lot of help right now but he seems to be stuck on his current setting of pressure. thanks so much for your prayers. one day at a time.
-love-

the marathon continues

2007-07-06T20:00:00.000-05:00

we've been away, haven't had a chance to update. conley has surpassed 4lbs. he's 4lbs. 4oz. and continuing to grow. his leg looks a little better and it will probably work itself out as time continues. he's had some solid days with his breathing, which, we found out tonight is his last hurdle before he goes to the level 2 nursery (being off the nasal oxygen). the more his lungs mature and clear up and the more weight he gains the better he'll do with that. he is cuter every time we go which makes it harder and harder to say goodbye. as you pray for conley, please continue to lift up his neighbor joey, his cousin jasper (no updates as of late) and a friend of ours' nephew austin who was born at MMC 5 weeks early and has been having some trouble with a heart murmur as well as with his breathing. thank you so much. we love you all. one day at a time

tubby time

2007-07-03T11:05:00.000-05:00

conley took his first bath tonight. he loved it. here's how it looked:

another thing to keep in your prayers, Occupational Therapy came in and noticed that because of his continual tummy-positioning and other factors, his foot has turned outward. this is very common, unfortunately, with NICU babies. please pray it works out and that all the nurses keep his regimen of exercise and correct positioning. they've all been great so far and we know they'll continue to be. also, a very urgent prayer need, a cousin of my dad's just had a 3lb. baby in NYC. his name is jasper and he has had complications with his lungs as well as some bleeding in his brain. please pray for him. our heart goes out to their family and we are asking for many people to lift him up to God. thank you so much. we can't say it enough. one day at a time.
-love-

7th inning stretch

2007-07-01T20:37:00.000-05:00

i'm not ashamed or too humble to say that malachi is a cute kid, a really cute kid. he comes by it honestly, just take a peek at his mom. despite the high bar set by big brother, conley is by all means holding his own. he's a fighter, he's defying the odds, he's a rockstar in all of those senses. but not only that, he's one good looking kid. miniature, but just gorgeous. he's also plumping out, and a few ounces away from four pounds. joey his neighbor appears to not be on the bubble CPAP anymore, either. please pray they both get over the final obstacles in their bumpy roads. conley needs to continue to wean on his low-flow nasal cannula oxygen, and we're also praying that as they introduce the bottle soon he'll be able to coordinate the whole suck, swallow, breathe process. thank you for your faithfulness in prayer, please don't let up. one day at a time
-love-

getting old

2007-06-29T19:43:00.000-05:00

sorry for the delay in posting. we've been overwhelmingly busy. thank you for your patience. conley has been busy too: growing, being cute, and the like. i got to hold him again today on my chest, skin to skin. a great experience until i felt like he was slipping off me, my arm started to fall asleep and i began to feel something i don't normally feel: nervousness. i'm not a nervous person by nature (i have plenty of other issues, though, trust me). i'm a person who is over-confident and feels he can handle everything. that feeling that something i hold so dear might be in jeopardy or that i'm actually not capable of rectifying a potential problem is horrid. i don't like it. ready for him to come home. so many lessons i'd rather not learn, however, Someone must know me better than i do myself. conley is about 3lbs. 11oz. still working on maturing those lungs. his eye exam wednesday showed he had some mild retina damage which he could just grow out of or might require a laser surgery. please pray for the former. one day at a time.
-love-
p.s. pictured above is pat, conley's primary nurse, and a resident saint of the NICU.

favorites

2007-06-26T17:43:00.000-05:00

there are so many great nurses at the NICU. like any other situation though, you form special relationships with certain people. conley has formed relationships with a few, including Pat, his primary nurse and one of his most favorites day nurses. she knows conley like the back of her hand and she gave me the scoop this morning. he's doing great. the weight he's gaining is real weight, not water weight. his lungs are clear and they're weaning him on his oxygen. the pressure is at the lowest setting and they're weaning the oxygen content. they increased him to 30cc every three hours. that's a full ounce every three hours. he has his dad's appetite. please keep praying he continues onward at such a good pace and that we're able to work our schedule in such a way that we can hold him enough and give him the human contact he needs. thanks so much. we're getting there one day at a time.
-love-

baby brother

2007-06-24T13:53:00.000-05:00

so lots of developments to update y'all on. conley is doing really well. he's now on a regular nasal cannula and bouncing between the lowest to the second to lowest setting on pressure. after he weans down on that, he'll wean on probably one more setting and i think that will be it for help breathing. he's weighing in at 3lbs. 7oz. and looking great. he was held by his auntie dorie this week, among a few others.

RSV (Respiratory something Virus) season is over and so siblings who are in good health are allowed into the NICU (i'm just thankful that parents not necessarily in good mental health have been allowed in for some time now... ahem). the first thing malachi said was "conley, baby brother."

also, thanks for all your prayers, conley's neighbor (whose name is joey) is doing better. his mom and dad were super happy to hear so many people are praying for him. he's off the hi-frequency ventilator and moving in the right direction. please keep him in your prayers. well, we can't be more grateful for how far we made it as of now. our family has come together, finally, even for a moment. one day at a time.

-love-

grandpa's day

2007-06-20T11:45:00.001-05:00

grandpa and i both got to hold conley today. he's looking good. they've held off on the diuretics still and he doesn't seem to be working any harder to breathe, in fact they began to wean him on the pressure of his high-flow nasal oxygen, so he's got that going for him...
it's so nice to hold his still small (but much larger than before) body in my arms. you can feel him breathing and he'll just sit there and kind of open his eyes a little until he realizes the fluorescent lighting is still on. sometimes he'll fall asleep or just be resting and he'll have a little dream about Hawaii or mom's belly such that he cracks this wide-open smile. then you can see his little tongue and gums and study even more of the detail. he, like every child, is a miracle. please pray that he continues to do well in his breathing and excreting fluids. no official update on his neighbor. he was on the hi-frequency ventilator today, but still there, which is good. one day at a time, for the dozens of us parents attached to that room.
-love-

their turn

2007-06-19T16:27:00.000-05:00

both of conley's grandmothers have had the chance to hold him the last couple of days. i'm sure he liked that. he's now off the bubble CPAP until further notice (hopefully that notice does not come). he's been at about 30% oxygen (as opposed to our normal 21%) and seems to be doing really well. we're hoping he breaks 3lbs. any day now. they've been having trouble balancing his sodium levels and diuretics because he needs them to help his body excrete fluids but when he does so, his sodium levels drop and then they have to hold the doses of diuretics. that can be tough on his lungs, though as they can soak up fluid and get tired sooner. please pray that this comes into balance and that his muscles build up quickly and lungs mature so he can continue to progress down that road also. thanks so much. one day at a time.
-love-
p.s. we have very little information about this situation, but we think that one of conley's neighbors who came into the NICU under similar circumstances might be having a tough time. please pray for him and his parents. we don't have any names but Jesus knows who he is. thanks so much. very hard to watch having been in that similar position.

closing in

2007-06-16T21:30:00.000-05:00

conley is closing in. he's 2lbs 15oz. for those of you who belong to 5 and half billion people who use the metric system, that's an ounce away from 3 pounds. to you same people, please don't ask us "standard measure" folk why ounce is abbreviated "oz." and pounds "lbs." because we won't have a good answer. anyway, conley is looking great, and enormous, with relation to how small he started out. he's now at 9 hours on nasal cannula and 3 hours on CPAP and actually doing better on the cannula (the one that gives him even less help breathing). praying that this progress will continue on. thank you. one day at a time.
-love-

elation

2007-06-15T18:13:00.000-05:00

i was able to hold conley today, finally. it has been one snag after another, with sickness and tangled logistics. the nurse insisted i hold him today despite my fears of malachi's stomach bug. they are saying that it becomes more and more important to interact with him. i was happy to oblige. he's a whopping 2lb. 13oz. and he looks so good. they've moved from 6 hrs. on CPAP and 3 hrs. on nasal oxygen to 6 hrs. on both. looking into his little yet deep, dark eyes today, i could only recall doubting that the moment would ever come. such it is, one day at a time that no matter what tomorrow brings, today drew that far-fetched dream into a tangible reality. thank you jesus.
-love-
p.s. sorry for the flood of images. a short video just for fun, me holding the little man, linda (a favorite of ours, conley's and even malachi's) and beth (also great) weighing him, big brother seeing little brother for the first time in person. please keep us in prayer. you and your petitions are invaluable.

air supply

2007-06-14T18:34:00.000-05:00

so, yesterday when i went in to see conley, he was up around 40% on the bubble CPAP and between 40-60% on the High-Flow Nasal Cannula. this morning when i called, he was at 30% on both of them, and the nurse said that he was actually doing better on nasal cannula. so that rocks. please keep praying he progresses that way. thank you so much. haven't gotten to hold him yet. malachi has had a stomach virus so we've been cautious about contact with conley. one day at a time.
-love-

6 weeks old yesterday

2007-06-12T12:01:00.001-05:00

so conley seems to be digging his new spot in the NICU. he's been doing pretty well and was at 2lbs. 9oz. last night. i really put pressure on the nurses yesterday to encourage the doctors to give him a break from the bubble CPAP, but what do i know? they know what's best. beyond that, i've been impressed lately with the idea that my son is on the mind of God on a continuous basis: even more than he's on my mind or even bethany's. then i began thinking about how that is true of every single human being, even the people i don't like, or who hate me and might try to harm me in certain contexts. pretty interesting when we think of the idea "God loves the whole world" from a specific angle like that. anyway. he's been doing fairly well on that and his nose hasn't really swollen, so that's good. really hoping to hold him tomorrow. one day at a time.
-love-

relocation

2007-06-10T19:34:00.000-05:00

so, conley is doing well. they have increased his feeds and he's tolerating that. he seems to be happy and content. he weighed in at 2lbs. 10oz. which is pretty great. also, we found out that he got moved out of the center aisle of the NICU to the outer aisle. that usually means good things, although it's nothing scientific. so, please pray that as the doctors try to set him up on a schedule of time on and off the bubble CPAP this week, that he not only tolerates it but excels in his progress. thanks so much. sorry i'm slow at pictures. i'll try to put up some tomorrow. i'm hoping to hold him this week. one day at a time.
-love-

needing a break?

2007-06-08T14:55:00.000-05:00

we finally got back in today. we've been sick lately so we've avoided the NICU in a desire to protect our little hero from our diseases. it's so good to see him. he looks pretty great. he's been on the bubble CPAP for a few days now, and the authorities seem resistant to the idea of getting him on a schedule of time on and time off the CPAP. i really pressed the nurse to encourage the doctors in this direction. we know that his regular nurses know him well and they'll advocate for what they know is best for him. please pray that the nurses and doctor's have wisdom from past experiences and that conley continues to progress forward today. as soon as i sat beside him today, the nurse had to come over 2 or 3 times to turn down his oxygen requirement. i like to think he was happy to see daddy and mommy. one day at a time.
-love-

steady on

2007-06-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

things are just going steady. gaining dozens of grams by the day. praying his body doesn't retain too much fluid. he's been doing really well on bubble CPAP, as his nurse says, he's a "good boy" and he's been "smart." hoping he can start taking some breaks from CPAP and be on the nasal cannula. headed toward the goal. thanks so much for praying. one day at a time.
-love-

step by step

2007-06-05T13:45:00.000-05:00

hope everyone enjoyed watching the video as much as i enjoyed taping it and sharing it. conley had to go back on the bubble CPAP today, which is okay. kind of discouraged that he could just stay on the nasal cannula oxygen, but that's because i'm a sprinter, not a marathon runner. it's actually very normal for kids his size and age to go back and forth. they'll be trying to set him up on a schedule of time on the bubble CPAP and time just on the nasal cannula so he can slowly work his way toward lung maturation. please pray that goes well, and that he keeps moving in that direction and doesn't ever go back on the ventilator. also please pray he doesn't get a sore and infected nose or get sick in any other way. thanks so much. one day at a time.
-love-

safe and warm

2007-06-04T20:40:00.000-05:00

here's conley snuggling with mommy.
the nurse shared two funny things with me today. one was that last night, all of his alarms started to go off and she went running over to his isolette (i promise, it gets funny) and there was conley, off in the corner and on his back. he had somehow flipped himself over onto his back. he was crying with his eyes wide open in confusion as to what had just transpired, although he was the cause of it. i know that feeling. secondly, when giving me an update of all of the good news, she mentioned that most of the babies at the NICU often need help with bowel movements. conley, however, needs no help whatsoever with such activities. i told her that ran in the family. anyway, he did, in fact gain 60grams yesterday (to her surprise) and another 50 today!

growing

2007-06-03T19:35:00.000-05:00

he's inching forward, in fact the nurse was surprised to see he had apparently gained 60 grams since last night. she's going to weigh him again to double-check, but i think he's just packing it on. he's on nasal oxygen tubes. his time under the oxygen hood went well, but he started to get a little bit tired. thankfully, he didn't need to go all the way back on the bubbler, just to the oxygen tubes. he's comfy and doing well on that tonight, the nurse said. progress. big thanks all the time to God. every day is precious and a bonus. one day at a time.
-love-

peek

2007-06-02T21:30:00.000-05:00

there's not really adequate words for this. it's amazing to see him untethered from all of his accessories. just a baby. a cute baby, actually. i'm only a little sorry that the glare makes it hard to see his perfect features, brown fuzz, and malachi-esque appearance. it's kind of nice just to savor it myself for a little while. the only hard part is loving him so much that we just want to cuddle him and bring him home. soon, we hope. the air that's circulating in his little bubble is still just at 40% oxygen and his stats look great. big thanks to God and also to the nurse who pushed the doctors to give him a chance at the hood when she saw how tender his little nostrils were. thanks to you all for the prayers. don't let up. one day at a time.
-love-

in the hood (yo)

2007-06-02T10:48:00.000-05:00

so basically conley is the man. for a day or so now, he's been off the oxygen bubbler and under an oxygen hood. what that means is that he is breathing on his own. no more help and pressure in his lungs from any tubes or machines. the hood is giving him a mixture of air that is 40% oxygen. you are currently breathing 21% oxygen. i'd say he's doing pretty darn well. this is the next step in training his lungs and chest muscles to do their thing. he'll probably go back on the bubbler for a time, and then back to the hood and so forth. we are so encouraged and blessed. praying for no more major bumps in the road, but taking each day as a blessing, one of them at a time.
-love-
p.s. we'll snap some shots tonight.

another day

2007-06-01T11:03:00.000-05:00

just a quick update, conley is progressing well. Thanks so much for your continued prayers. He's over 2lbs. 2oz. and growing. They will possibly be starting to give him a chance to breathe without the oxygen bubbler in the next couple of days. Please pray his little lungs and chest muscles pick up the art of breathing and send him further down the road toward being home. one day at a time.
-love-

just kidding

2007-05-29T12:35:00.000-05:00

so, right before we left the hospital, i got a phone call on my cell from the nurse (who didn't realize i was sitting across the hall). things quieted down in the NICU and malachi wasn't too restless so bethany suited back up and went it. she was so blessed to be able to hold her baby. he liked it too. although they had separated him from his little house, it's continuous warmth, and the routine he's known for months, the moment he was skin to skin with his mom, his vitals signs shot right up. he was certainly happy, longing for the place he really belonged. i think we feel the same way with regard to our Father sometimes. anyway, thanks for praying. he's continuing to do well, and we're praying he stays strong and keeps on keeping on. one day at a time.
-love-
p.s. conley now weighs... two pounds!!

stuff happens

2007-05-28T19:45:00.000-05:00

you know how when you're a little kid, and you get it in your head and in your heart that you're going to soon have a great experience (go fishing, get a doll, eat grilled cheese)? and then, you know that feeling you get when you realize you're out of cheese, or your mom got you a slinky instead of a doll. that's the feeling bethany and i have tonight after not being able to hold conley. they had just admitted a new baby across the aisle from him and things were just too busy. plus, he got kind of fussy anyway. the upside of that was that bethany got to do the mom thing and did a great job of calming him and giving him his binky. when mom's hands were in the isolette, baby was happy. so, we wait a little longer. he seems to be pretty bugged by the big oxygen prongs in his mouth and his belly is quite round. however, he's doing okay and is tolerating his feeds. we're praying that his oxygen settings get good enough that he can go off the bubbler. that will give his nose a rest. anyway, we love you all. thanks for your love. God is teaching us true patience, true trust. one day at a time.

little man

2007-05-27T19:23:00.000-05:00

conley is doing well. he has been staying pretty stable on most accounts. the things that are of concern are that his belly seems to be getting quite full of air (a pretty common problem with being on the oxygen bubbler), and that he's been needing a little bit more oxygen content and pressure. this could be a sign of him getting a little tired. the part that makes it tough is that his nose is also irritated again and so that could be giving him a hard time, however, the catch-22 is that with such problems, his settings need to go up and the docs certainly rule out just putting him on oxygen (without the bubbler giving him pressure). a tough thing. he is doing well, however. the doctor tonight said that he is hoping to see conley on the bubbler for only a few more days, then on to just oxygen. let's pray that happens, that his nose doesn't swell up between now and then, that his stamina grows, and that his belly vents out all that air (we all know how good that can feel when things finally move on out :) thanks so much for your prayers. bethany has been told she should get to hold him(!) tomorrow night. one day at a time.
-love-

late nights in the big city

2007-05-25T23:49:00.000-05:00

bethany and i went up late tonight after a so far in discord concert. it's neat to come this late in the evening, since everything is quiet here. the NICU has the lights down low and our little man is just chillin'. he loves to be on his belly, and was so calm when we came in. i think he likes to hear his mom's voice, too. he's doing well at full feeds, in fact he was increased to 12.5cc's every three hours. that is a very good thing. the doctor told us tonight that he didn't expect conley to get off the respirator as soon as he did and that he's been doing well on it. although we just want to hear someone say "he's going to be okay," he's still got a road ahead of him. he did say, however that he's got quite a bit going for him with his good long stretches off the respirator, full feeds, lack of infections and illness, and good head ultrasounds. not to say that we won't hit any more bumps in the road, but he seems to be motoring right along. monday will be a month, 11 weeks until his intended due date. thank you for all your prayers. we are grateful to He who hears, and you who offer them. one day at a time.
-love-

back in action (both of us)

2007-05-24T18:18:00.000-05:00

i got my computer fixed, but i'm pretty sure conley steals the show by going back on the oxygen bubbler and breathing on his own again. he's been doing quite well at it, too. he's continued going up on his feedings (he really is trying to copy me) and those feeds are at full fortified status (i guess the joke about weight gainer fuel wasn't far off). so, he's over 1lb. 14oz. For those of you unfamiliar with the standard measurement system, we're less than 2oz. from the 2lb. mark (oh yeah). So, please pray he continues to do well on the oxygen bubbler and go down on his oxygen requirements (because of his lungs maturing and him staying strong), and that his belly keeps from getting too bloated from the bubbler. Sorry the updates have been delayed. stay tuned. one day at a time
-love-

the morning news

2007-05-22T12:37:00.000-05:00

the weaning on conley's respiratory rate last night showed good results in this morning's lab tests. thank you so much for praying. he's just continuing on strong, and he looks really great. one day at a time
-love-

the marathon, not the 50-yard dash

2007-05-21T19:31:00.000-05:00

sorry it's taken so long to post again. busyness coupled with computer troubles has made things difficult. here's the score: conley was able to be taken off the hi-frequency ventilator over the weekend (i think they inferred that he partially took his tube out, and so they decided he was ready to step up... i'm not joking). he's been weaning on the conventional vent steadily. it wasn't until last night that the weaning of his settings didn't seem to be timely. they will be trying to wean him the same amount tonight. please pray he tolerates it so he can continue forward. he's up to FULL FEEDS now, (12CC/3hrs). he's going to really start to pack on the pounds. he's at 1lb. 13oz. now and seems to be climbing.
we're pretty sure he's approached this whole thing just like a monroe- go like heck until you burn out and then settle into good, steady progress. he comes by it honestly. thanks for all your prayers. we're so thankful to you for praying and to God for hearing. one day at a time
-love-

better

2007-05-18T17:00:00.000-05:00

conley was able to be weaned twice today on his respirator settings. the nurse said he had a good day, and hopefully is DeltaP # (whatever that means) on his blood gas report comes down far enough in the next day or so for him to be put back on a conventional respirator (yesterday it was 14, today 12.5, 9 is the goal). that's awesome. plus, she weighed him today. he was weighed four days ago and came in at 1lb. 10oz. (up from 1lb. 8oz. @ birth). today, he weighed in at..... 1lb. 12oz. he's basically a giant. i've been secretly slipping him whey protein and GNC weight-gainers fuel.
with regard to percentage, that would be similar to me gaining 25lbs. in 2 and a half weeks. i'd say that's good progress for our man. thanks for your prayers. please continue to pray his belly digests his food more effectively. they're feeding him continuously at 1CC/hour. one day at a time.
-love-

rebound

2007-05-17T17:39:00.000-05:00

so i was basically freaking out yesterday. i was about ready to give the entire NICU a piece of my mind, aided by a whirlwind of flailing fists and loud four-letter words. no matter how much anyone tells you that a premature child is going to have his ups and downs, successes and setbacks, the first one hits you very hard. thankfully, one of our most favorite nurses came and lovingly told us what was up and did so with a positive outlook. she appears to be quite right. today he was able to start being weaned down on the Hi-Fi respirator and started trickling in the breast milk. he just looks really good today, bigger even. we're praying he continues forward and can be weaned back down to a conventional respirator and then back down to just the oxygen bubbler. but, as always, one day at a time. not to get ahead of ourselves. thanks for your fervent prayers.
-love-

another day at a time

2007-05-16T19:56:00.000-05:00

my computer is broken and keeps restarting. so, i'm going to make this quick. conley has been on the high-fi respirator sine a couple days ago. they're trying to get his oxygen stabilized so he can get back so eating. please pray that this happens and that he regains his strength to be able to breathe once again on his own. such setbacks are to be expected with a baby in his situation. we're praying God continues to intervene and helps high keep on fighting. thanks everybody. one day at a time...
-love-

oh, that face

2007-05-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

i spoke with the doctor this morning and conley wasn't really liking the conventional ventilator last night so he went on to the oscillating one. this gives him shorter, more frequent breaths and will hopefully be less likely to hurt his lungs. i'm not sure if they're starting him back on milk today, or if they'll have to wait until he's off this ventilator. hard to have a day like today, even though it's a completely normal step for a little guy like him. we've just had so much progress in one direction, now to have to hold up is difficult. i'm not a patient person. God knows what he's doing, though. please keep praying for this little guy. bethany was right though, his little break is giving us the chance to see him again, though. unwrapped and cute as ever. one day at a time. thanks for your prayers. please don't stop.
-love-

taking a break

2007-05-14T15:27:00.000-05:00

conley's CO2 was up again this morning so he's taking a break and back on the respirator. that may actually be good for him in the long run, give him some time to use the calories he's taking in on putting on some weight, instead of burning them up by doing all of his own breathing. they also found that his nose was swollen probably because of the tubes being in his nose for a long time. we're praying that the swelling goes down quickly, since he won't go back on the bubbler until it's back to normal. he's started back on the antibiotics just to be safe with infection. when they started back on the respirator, they actually got back an even higher CO2 level, so they had to up the pressure. i'm wondering if maybe they should just give him a chance back on the oxygen bubbler, but they're the pros. please pray that he takes this time to rest and bulk up and that when he gets back on the bubbler (soon, we hope), he'll be set for good. thanks so much. one day at a time.
-love-

mom's day

2007-05-13T18:51:00.000-05:00

today was conley's first mother's day. he was nice enough to send mom flowers, (actually, he commissioned malachi and i to get them) and made mom a card with his pictures on it (with a little help from a nice nurse). pretty sweet. he's doing well. they've been increasing his feedings still, however, with the oxygen apparatus that he's on, it fills up his belly with air too, so that makes him bloated. we're praying that he starts to digest a little better. also, his blood gas reports have been climbing in the CO2 department, which could be a sign that he's tiring out from breathing. it also could be that with his belly being so full, he's having a hard time taking deep breaths. he may need to go back on a respirator tomorrow morning if the next report is still high or higher. that's okay if he does, and quite normal for babies his size and age to bounce back and forth. however, our prayer is that his belly empties, he stays strong, and that his lungs do their thing. also, if you could pray for him to stabilize his temperature, he's had a tougher time with that today, which could mean an infection (also quite normal for his type, and he'd need some more antibiotics). anyway, thanks for your prayers. some new pictures today, yesterday was quite busy, so no blog. back in action now. one day at a time. thank you all so much.
-love-

missed

2007-05-11T22:54:00.000-05:00

despite the little amount of physical and other interaction we are able to have with our son, it seems like it doesn't take long to miss him. it's so hard not to have him in our arms, but yet we know that he is getting exactly what he needs. words can't really express the joy he already brings to our hearts.
they are increasing his feedings every 9 hours in order to bring him up to a full feeding, which, for his age is 12CC (under an ounce). he's at 3 or maybe 4cc by now. he's had a break from the jaundice lights and his skin color looks really good and normal. his temperature has been stabilizing which is also very good. thankful for every success, praying for him to continue on down this path. one day at time.
-love-

giving Him no rest

2007-05-10T12:20:00.000-05:00

my good friend joe came to visit conley yesterday. he said that it had been a while since he had checked the blog, and that while reading, he started at the top and worked his way day, reading in almost every post some success Conley had made, then below it, an earlier post asking you all to pray for it. we are thankful to God that we are able to do that once again. Conley head ultrasound came out normal again (woohoo!) and not only did he start digesting his food yesterday, they've bumped him up from 1cc to 2cc per feeding. what can we say? thank you and thank Him. "I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You who call on the Lord, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth." Is. 62:6-9
one day at a time.
-love-

like it ain't no thang

2007-05-09T15:38:00.000-05:00

i'm pretty sure in the doctor/nurse meeting the head neonatologist referred to conley as "hero." i think they're pretty impressed with him like we are. he's still breathing well. although his oxygen requirement has gone up a little, nobody goes from the hi-fi respirator to breathing on his own (that's what the doctor said). that's basically a grand slam, walk-off homer, bottom of the ninth. another head ultrasound today, getting the results back tonight. really praying that it's normal again. now, just trying to train his belly to really digest. things are well, and we are so thankful. your prayers are certainly a factor in how things are going. thank you, thank you, thank you.
one day at a time.
-love-

number 4, well, actually number 2

2007-05-08T22:18:00.000-05:00

conley did number 2 for the fourth time tonight (saw it with my own eyes). i can't say i've ever been so happy to see excrement (no offense, malachi). he's doing pretty well. they had to hold a couple feedings this afternoon but they fed him while we were there tonight. hoping it digests normally. he looks good. i got to see his eyes open just a sliver. dark portals into the mind of an amazing little guy. thanks for continuing with us in love and prayer. sleep is imminent. here's a picture for size perspective. that's bethany's hand...
one day at a time
-love-

on the move

2007-05-08T14:42:00.000-05:00

the moment we've all been waiting for. our little hero has pooped. this is very good news. he pooped a couple of times today, they've told us. that will help keep his bilirubin levels (jaundice) down, and is just a good thing in general (as i'm sure you all know). He did digest the rest of his food last night and they fed him at 11PM. today, he's taking his time digesting so they've had to wait a little on feedings. understandable, as his stomach is brand new and about the size of a superball. we'll be going up to see him tonight. here's one of those pictures the other NICU dad took last night. told you he was cute on his belly. the headgear he's got on (similar to the apparatus used by avid football-game watchers/beer drinkers) is his oxygen bubbler. they have him rigged up in such a way as to help him breathe through his nose and to keep the tubes from hurting his head. he's the only guy i know who wears a winter hat in a sauna. what a fighter. one day at a time.
-love-

yummy, mummy

2007-05-07T19:44:00.000-05:00

we didn't have our camera again tonight. turns out that it's actually up in waterville in bethany's mom's vehicle. however, another NICU dad had his camera so he took a picture of conley on his belly. he should be emailing them to me tonight. i'll put them up as soon as i can. he's such a cutie. he's had a great day today, with his blood gases (the absorption of oxygen and carbon dioxide into his blood) doing even a little better. he was fed 1cc of milk today 3 times and when they went for the 4th feeding tonight, he had only really digested about 1 of those total 3cc, which is okay. please just pray that his little stomach can really start to process that milk in order to help him grow. also, we hope that he continues to stay off the ventilator, but if he does need a break from breathing on his own, we pray that the doctors and nurses will know when it's time. thanks so much for your prayers. it's a daily grind for our little guy, and for us. he's still a ways from being truly out of the woods, but so far, he's been running at a pretty good pace toward the open air. thanks for your prayers. lastly, please pray that he not only makes it home with us, but that his development continues as normal as possible so as to dodge any lasting effects on him. we love you all. one day at a time.

every step counts

2007-05-06T12:50:00.001-05:00

the coolest thing about this whole blog and the huge community of faith that surrounds our family is that when i'm by conley's incubator, and the nurses are telling me what is going on with him and what the next steps are, i can bring those needs, concerns, milestones, right to you all and we can pray specifically for what's on his little plate. thanks for being so faithful to stand with us in prayer and in support of our little guy. THANKS SO MUCH for all your wonderful comments. they really bless us and mean a lot to us, more than you all know.
well... he's still doing well off the respirator, and they're just hoping his blood gas levels don't spike up, in which case he'd need a break from breathing on his own. he's breathing room air right now, no extra oxygen, which is great. tomorrow they want to start feeding him breastmilk. that can be tough on little guys whose stomachs are so immature. please pray that he surprises us again and just digests it really well. the sooner he can start drinking milk, the better for him, his weight, and the development of all his organs. also, they're hoping to take one of the IV lines out of his tummy today. that's good. thanks be to God for each step of progress. we know that with a situation like this, setbacks are very common, and we'll be prepared for that. until then, we revel in every hurdle that he overcomes.
"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." Psalm 18:29
one day at a time.
-love-
p.s. i hope to take some new pictures tomorrow. we got to see his face today!! a little swollen from the air tubes but still so cute. he gave us a couple little cries and the nurse said he opened his eyes for her earlier! pretty cool.

every step counts

2007-05-06T12:50:00.000-05:00

the coolest thing about this whole blog and the huge community of faith that surrounds our family is that when i'm by conley's incubator, and the nurses are telling me what is going on with him and what the next steps are, i can bring those needs, concerns, milestones, right to you all and we can pray specifically for what's on his little plate. thanks for being so faithful to stand with us in prayer and in support of our little guy.
well... he's still doing well off the respirator, and they're just hoping his blood gas levels don't spike up, in which case he'd need a break from breathing on his own. he's breathing room air right now, no extra oxygen, which is great. tomorrow they want to start feeding him breastmilk. that can be tough on little guys whose stomachs are so immature. please pray that he surprises us again and just digests it really well. the sooner he can start drinking milk, the better for him, his weight, and the development of all his organs. also, they're hoping to take one of the IV lines out of his tummy today. that's good. thanks be to God for each step of progress. we know that with a situation like this, setbacks are very common, and we'll be prepared for that. until then, we revel in every hurdle that he overcomes.
"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." Psalm 18:29
one day at a time.
-love-

late nights

2007-05-05T22:17:00.000-05:00

visiting conley late at night is nice. things are chill and quiet in the NICU. he just hangs out, waves at us from time to time, and breathes (without a respirator, still). i got to change his diaper (about the size of a baseball card when folded) and take his temperature. that was neat. we don't touch him a whole lot because too much stimulation isn't good for him. but when i get the quick chance to put the tip of my finger snugly into his little hand, or just rest my hand on his body in order to help him be calm, it's like a small serving of a really great meal that your mom is cooking. when she's not looking, you pick up the cover of the pan and spoon out just a little. just enough to keep you going until 6:00 when it will be fully served up. we can't wait to just hold him. thanks for your thoughts and prayers. one day at a time.
-love-

surprise surprise

2007-05-04T23:59:00.000-05:00

still off the respirator, conley is going strong. they do expect him to go back onto it at some point. they were fully expecting him to be back on by midday today but his blood gas levels were doing even a little better earlier this evening. please continue to pray that those improve and that they will soon be able wean off his oxygen tubes (different that a respirator) and take out certain lines in his tummy in order to start to feed him milk. he'll then be able to bulk up. that will take time but hopefully he can start down that road soon. everything that we have all prayed for has been really progressing. the prayers of the righteous are definitely powerful and effective. thank you.
one day at a time.
-love-

medical insubordination

2007-05-04T09:17:00.000-05:00

thanks so much for your prayers about conley's breathing. after i posted the blog at 11:00pm last night, 4 hours later, he pulled his own breathing tube out of his mouth and started to breathe on his own. no joking here. i called up at 8 this morning and he had been breathing without the respirator since then. the nurse seemed quite amazed and i think she thought we'd be upset. quite the contrary. she said he'd probably tire himself out this first time around and have to get back on the respirator, but it's definitely a really amazing step. thanks again for your prayers. one day at a time.
-love-

halfway home

2007-05-03T20:56:00.000-05:00

we are halfway home. the four-piece monroe family has gone from having two members at the hospital to just one. it's good to have mommy back around. she's still sore from the c-section but is doing well. i think i know where conley gets his fight from. malachi is happy to have his home pretty much back in order.
conley passed his first head ultrasound, which is awesome. thanks be to God and thanks for your prayers. he'll have another one in 10 days. he's a high risk for bleeding in his brain because of his size and also because he's still relegated to a respirator. we really can't ask much more from him, though. in the morning meeting with doctors and nurses today, the head neonatologist (little baby doctor) told me they were going to have to start making things up because they didn't really have any complaints with his progress. that was nice to hear.
conley is probably encouraged in his personal race by the early lead the red sox have in the AL East pennant race. Big Papi, meet your protege, conley roger lee.
anyway, please do pray that he'll soon be balanced in the oxygen and co2 absorption of his lungs so that his respirator can be weaned. it's amazing that so far, that's our only real big request. thanks everyone. one day at a time.
-love-
p.s. thanks so much for checking in on this blog. thanks to those who comment. your comments mean A LOT to us, and the only reason we don't really personally respond to the comments is because there are so many of them. that's a good problem to have, we think.

one day at a time

2007-05-02T16:05:00.000-05:00

another day passes. conley had a really good day today. he did everything the nurses asked him to, including play them a song on the guitar.
we are still waiting to hear back on the ultrasound they did of his head. please pray, as the doctor will be analyzing the results tonight. please pray that he continues to do well and that he can soon be off the ventilator, in which case he'd be able to begin drinking milk. stay well. thanks for checking in with us.
-love-

hero

2007-05-01T20:34:00.000-05:00

conley means "hero," and it's a perfect name for this little guy. he's doing well, and moving a lot. he's a feisty kid and is even grabbing onto stuff (tubes, blankets, nurses hands). he needed a special respirator to give his little lungs a break, but he's also requiring a lower percentage of oxygen, which is good. please pray that his lungs continue to develop quickly. also, tomorrow, a very important sonogram will be done on his brain to check and see how things are going there. please pray that everything checks out and that the only thing they find is some scattered thoughts (that will further identify him as his father's son). thanks so much. these are some pictures from bedtime tuesday night. thanks for your prayers. much love!

conley roger lee

2007-05-01T12:16:00.000-05:00

Hi everybody. Conley Roger Lee Monroe was born at 1:08PM on April 30th. He's 1lb. 8oz.
he's doing well. at his premature stage (25 weeks, app. 6 months along), everything is one day at a time, so we ask that the awesome amount of prayer that you all have offered for him will continue. he's our hero and one heck of a fighter. thanks for your love and prayers. we love you all very much.

ty, bethany, malachi and conley

january is supposed to be

2007-01-17T15:57:00.000-05:00

it's really cold. remember when january was always cold? back in the late nineties? remember when we got real accumulations of snow, back in the early nineties. those were the days. let's not complain when it's cold, unless we're complaining about a lack of snow. that's valid.
we've been really sick off and on this past year. i'm just guessing it comes with having a small child. children appear to have a mineral or some sort of ore in them that magnetically pulls virus and bacteria into them. subsequently, their bodies feel the need to redistribute those little gems to our bodies. that's always fun, especially when you can finally boast simultaneous vomiting and diarrhea. that's saying something about your life.
malachi thinks he's two already, he's cute even when he's ornery.

if you're messed up and you know it, blog your thoughts

2006-10-01T23:48:00.000-05:00

malachi walked across his bedroom yesterday (approximately 10 or 11 feet). bethany was folding his clothes and when she looked up, he was walking toward her. i guess you could say it was a milestone. walking is pretty important.
so we talked last night in our worship gathering about dealing with issues, being right with one another. so many differences, disagreements and divisions. so many hurts and offenses, perceived and real. it's interesting to me to think about the idea that the redeeming factor in any situation before and after an offense or disagreement is the same thing. and both require the same investment, although fleshed out in different forms.
if i were to exhibit selflessness (commonly referred to as it's synonym "love") and curb my insatiable appetite for personal satisfaction before i made my decision, i could do away with the impending discord or at least to the extent of which would be my fault. similarly, in the emotional and social fallout of a self-serving mindset bullishly pushing others' needs and wants to the side, the remedy for broken relationships is the same. i must bridle the tongue now seeking to defend and justify. i must capture the thoughts plotting to sell the sins already committed. i mustn't defend nor dodge it. i must own it; my filth, that is. which brings us back to love. because it's tough to own your crap. that's why when most people fill an elevator with horrible odors, and unintentional bodily sounds, they act like nothing ever happened. such is the price, though, for reconciliation. the price seems to have gone up since love's original offer before the fact. but the fruit is still far more valuable than the cost: restoration and reconnection.
i guess i just wish i took the first offer more frequently. but therein lies the dichotomy of humanity and sovereignty. although God would in His perfect will never wish for me to uproot other's emotions, somehow, it seems, there are lessons unique to the hard road. maybe not. we'll not know, until we're not human. and isn't it growth if we're less and less frequently taking love's second offer and instead living love before the folly? or does it seem that maybe we just more often realize the need for the second offer of love as in maturity we see how human we are. sounds like humility which sounds like maturity. either way, God has decided to transform us into the image of His Son, but not without our co-operation and effort. then again, our co-operation and effort begins with "surrender" and an ever-deepening realization that we are so wretched, needy, dependent on His grace and empowerment. i guess that right there is a foundation of growth.

so i keep saying i'm going to post

2006-09-25T14:03:00.000-05:00

so i keep saying i'm going to post on this blog and talk about our family, and vent, and blah blah blah. and i never do. so this is my subsequent attempt to "get back on the horse."
it makes sense. i mean, i talk a lot, and i can only secure so many listeners in my life. but with a medium such as this, i can vocalize, self-aggrandize, and just plain say all i want all the while telling myself that countless subscribers are paying attention to ME. maybe i just needed to put it that way, and such perspective would motivate me to commit.

family update: malachi is still cute.

airborne

2006-04-21T15:35:00.000-05:00

so malachi is a boy. this means that like the majority of young humans of his gender, things that make his mom pee her pants at the sight give him great joy. one of these is being tossed in the air. now, as you see this picture, don't go and report us to the police. yes...he is as high as it seems. but i catch him. it's great and he laughs with his two bottom teeth peering above his smiling lip. there's not really anything comparable to making your son laugh.

oh, he likes his new swing too. dad and grampa just couldn't find his baby hat nor his mittens, so he borrowed a hat from grampa and borrowed mom's socks for his cold hands. that's how he rolls.

we're here

2006-03-31T11:01:00.000-05:00

well, having been a part of the ghettos of myspace for some time now, i guess it's time we move on to a quieter suburb, at least for getaways. we've so enjoyed the updates from our family in the hockey capital of the world (jason and hannah, eh) that we decided it would be neat to do the same. hope that those of you who end up here enjoy perusing through this little digital glimpse of our lives it as much as we do creating it.